He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
