he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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