I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
