I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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