Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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