when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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