ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
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He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
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I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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