butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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