Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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