Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Randomize
