I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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