I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
i believe in u and ur pee
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