ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alive.
So much puke
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize