I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
