then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize