Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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