Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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