Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
