At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
