In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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