..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Less talking, more tequila
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
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