DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
