dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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