worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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