I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize