Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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