i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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