its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
