I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
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