im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
