I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
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