Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
