I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
