what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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