I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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