I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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