We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
