he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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