JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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