it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
