she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
