Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
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I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
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Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize