It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
