They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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