I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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