i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
be right there i have to get my cape
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
