Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize
