I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
