I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
