Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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