Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
