she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
