You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
