so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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