Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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