No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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