Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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