i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
