You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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