i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
