Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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