Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Randomize
